Tangles
by Dreamer105
Summary: Her hair was like her life. Perfect on the outside, but underneath was a mess of tangles and knots that Tomoyo never could get rid of.


A little idea that just wouldn't go away. Now Revamped and ten-times better Enjoy!

Tomoyo wandered into her room, not bothering to flick on the lights as she made her way over to the polished, white vanity on the far side of her room, while listening absentmindedly to the 'pitter patter' of the rain hitting the numerous windows in her room. Her bedroom was lit only from the soft lights of her vanity and the occasional flash of lightning, giving the large and normally cheerful room a gloomy feel that fit its occupant's current mood perfectly.

After staring blankly into the mirror for a minute, she idly picked up a delicate looking, ivory-backed brush and began running it through her long, dark hair in an attempt to untangle it. A task that to an outsider might seem easy, but in reality was quite the opposite.

Tomoyo's hair was thick and somewhat curly, appearing to most like fine strands of black silk. And while the outside always looked perfect with every strand in place thanks to numerous hair products, underneath that first perfect layer was a mess of tangles and snares that Tomoyo never seemed to be able to quite get rid of.

Tomoyo winced suddenly as her brush caught a particularly large knot. The girl had already hit several smaller snares in the first few strokes of the brush, but nothing she couldn't take care of thru sheer force. Sighing irritably, she gently set the brush down on the table and her small, nimble fingers quickly went to work on untangling the mass.

After a few minutes the knot was but a memory, the only proof that it had ever existed was a few strands of black hair forming a small clump in Tomoyo's hand.

Her amethyst eyes stared at the hair. Then the corners of her mouth tilted upward. It wasn't the fake happy smile that usually adorned her face, but a small sad smile with just a touch of amusement.

'Who would have thought my life could be described by my hair?' Picking up the brush, she resumed her previous task, continuing to let her mind flow along that particular train of thought.

'It's true,' she mused, 'while it looks perfect on the top, every strand in place, on the bottom, it's ugly and full of problems. Just like me. At first glance, a perfect friend, a loving daughter, and a straight-A student. But if you dig deeper… ' she pushed the brush a little harder into her scalp and quickly hit several small tangles, 'there are so many problems kept hidden from the world. '

She sighed as her brush found another stubborn knot. 'And every time I work out a problem...' She pulled a dark clump of hair way from her head, not really caring she was pulling her hair out or the pain that resulted from it. 'I feel like I loose a part of my heart.'

Tomoyo opened her delicate hand and watched as the small ball of hair drifted gently to the floor. At least she was feeling something besides the numbness that seemed to take hold of her more and more often. She would welcome any kind of feeling, even pain in the face of the numbness.

Her father... when she was really little, she had sometimes lay in bed at night and dreamed with all her childish, naive heart about the day he would come home to finally see her, to actually meet her. She would then introduce him to everyone and show them that she had a daddy just like they did. When she turned 5, and her mother asked her what she wanted for her birthday, Tomoyo had innocently asked for her daddy to come home, having grown tired of waiting for him. Her mother's reaction was something Tomoyo desperately wished she could forget. It was then, as she had cried herself to sleep that night, that she had realized that having an actual father was just a dream and it could never actually come true. She had never let herself dream of it again.

That had been the first time her heart had been truly broken. But she had been young and she had managed to put it back together almost perfectly, with only a chink or two here and a tiny crack there.

Tomoyo continued to brush her hair ignoring the smaller snarles her brush caught as she stared blankly ahead into the mirror, lost in her thoughts as they moved onto one of the most important people of her life.

Her mother... when she had been small, she had always been slightly resentful of her mother's long business trips that left her in the care a nanny and the maids. Tomoyo thought that if she couldn't have a father, she should at least have gotten a mother. But despite the less than nice thoughts she sometimes had about Sonomi, Tomoyo had always believed that her mother really did love her and that she was more of a priority to her mother than business. Sonomi not showing up for her 7th Birthday party showed her the truth. Her mother cared more for her work than her daughter. It had been hard to finally give up her belief that her mother would stay home with her and cancel a meeting just to spend the day together if Tomoyo had asked. She knew her mother cared for her, but while she felt some affection for the woman, when Tomoyo had rebuilt her heart that time, she didn't include the sizable chunk that had belonged to Sonomi.

Another knot gave way to the unrelenting stokes of the brush, pulling several strands out this time, but like before Tomoyo paid no notice, too caught up in flood of memories.

She had been so excited about her first day of school... so eager to make friends with the other children. And she had, but not the way she wanted to. Tomoyo was always viewed as different, more mature, like an adult almost. It was her own fault really, for acting so grownup. But such behavior had pleased her mother immensely and before her 7th birthday Tomoyo did anything she could if it meant a compliment from her mother. And after that, she spent so much time on her own and around the help, who were always so polite, such behavior had become ingrained in her personality. But Tomoyo wasn't ready to give up on the idea of having friends that easily. So she tried to her best to act like the other children she knew. She had thought if she acted more like them, maybe they would treat her as one of their own. She had stopped after her fifth attempt, due to the fact several people always asked without fail if she was feeling all right every time.

Her heart hadn't truly broken that time, after all she hadn't have the chance to give it away. But Tomoyo didn't know how to repair the large crack that had stemmed from it either.

Long strands of dark hair were now scattered about her feet, some clinging to her skirt, the results of her harsh treatment. Ignoring them, Tomoyo continued her ruthless method; determine to rid her hair of knots once and for all.

Sakura... she had been so in love with her cousin from the first moment she had met her. So full of life, Sakura had always made Tomoyo smile with her sunny attitude and adorable naïveté. Content to fill the role of best friend, the lavender eyed girl had fooled herself for so long by thinking that this was all that she needed and that Sakura's happiness was her happiness. After all, most of Sakura's time was spent with her and Sakura had no real secrets from her. What could possibly have been better than that?

Tomoyo paused mid-stroke to let out a bitter laugh. Looking back on those days she couldn't believe she had been that stupid.

However, despite all the stupidity, Tomoyo still couldn't help but feel a little wistful. It had been such a nice fantasy after all. But like the ones that came before it, that was all it had ever been. A dream she had made up to help her sleep better at night.

When Sakura and Syoran had finally gotten their acts together and admitted their feelings Tomoyo thought she would be happy, but instead she was able to see first hand what she didn't have.

It had taken a week for her to finally pick up the few remaining pieces of her already damaged heart and messily tape them back together, though it felt much more empty than before.

Tomoyo idly wondered if there was anything of real substance left. She hadn't been able to dream of anything since. Didn't one of those silly Disney movies say a dream is a wish your heart makes? At night she saw just endless blackness where her once colorful dreams had been. Tomoyo couldn't even remember when she had last had even a nightmare. Did that mean she didn't have a heart?

However, she didn't really have time to contemplate it much further having finally completed her goal. Laying her brush on top of her vanity, she stood up slowly, as if in a daze. The surface of her white brush was covered with dark stands of hair. Around her feet lay a few clumps of hair; ugly, dark blotches against the pristine lavender carpet. Tomoyo took in the disturbing scene before quickly turning away and refocusing her gaze to a nearby window, watching drops of rain splash against the glass.

Tomoyo stepped closer to the window as her eyes caught a flash of movement. A figure was walking up the drive. An umbrella kept them dry and at the same time hid their face from her watchful eyes. She continued to watch as the unknown figure came closer to the house. She could see now that the person was male and judging by his uniform, from her school as well.

Now curious, Tomoyo left her spot at the window and ventured downstairs to see whom the visitor was. She had just arrived in the front hall when she heard a knock. Tomoyo opened one of the two ornately carved doors to reveal to her surprise Hiiragizawa-kun, the reincarnation of Clow Reed himself.

He offered her a friendly smile. "Hello, Ms. Daidouji. I just came by to invite you out for a cup of tea at that new café in town." Tomoyo tilted her head to one side, puzzled by the unexpected offer. She and Eriol weren't really that good of friends. They talked at school, but that was only because of Sakura.

Unsure of how to answer, Tomoyo decided to stall instead.

"Wouldn't it have been easier to call? It definitely would have been drier." Eriol's smile seemed to grow bigger if possible. "True, but I was feeling restless and a little rain never hurt anybody. So do you accept?" She fidgeted, uncomfortable at the sudden attention. It was Sakura who got people's attention not her.

Was it even safe? He had tricked her and her friends numerous times in the past, but there was no reason for him to do so now, right? Tomoyo considered his offer. It would be nice to get away from the house and her hair brush. Besides it would be rude to turn him down after he came all the way here.

"Why not? Just let me get my coat." Hurrying to a nearby closet, she pulled out a lightweight jacket and an umbrella. Returning to the front door, she told a nearby maid that she was stepping out and then with a tentative smile on her face Tomoyo joined Eriol outside, shuting the door firmly behind her. Then together, they left.

+Later that Night+

Tomoyo returned home with a bigger smile on her face, than when she had left. She had had a wonderful time talking with Eriol while drinking some raspberry tea. He was just as smart and witty as she was and wasn't afraid to challenge her opinions on anything leading to several spirited debates. They had also talked a great deal about inconsequential things, much to her delight, just like normal teenagers.

Her smile grew a little bigger as she remembered his invitation for lunch tomorrow. For some reason it left her feeling a excited and a little nervous, things she hadn't felt in a long time.

Climbing up the stairs she entered her room. Glancing at her vanity, she paused when she noticed the mess she made had been cleaned up. Not even her brush had any hair on it.

Instead, a blue rose lay next to her brush, along with what appeared to be some sort of note with her name scrawled elegantly across it. Curiosity piqued, she unfolded the sheet of paper and quickly read it contents. When she finished, there was a small blush on her cheeks.

Setting the note down she picked up the rose next to it and after admiring it for a moment, brought it up to her face and breathed in its scent. Tomoyo didn't know quite how to describe it, it smelled wonderful, but it reminded her of old books and cookies, which were definitely not floral scents. Thinking about it for a moment, she decided it must smell like its creator, a certain blue-eyed sorcerer. For some reason, that thought filled her with pleasure and she took another quick sniff. Then setting it down gently, Tomoyo left her room in search of a small vase. Tomoyo wanted it to live as long as it could and besides, she thought it'd look pretty in a small vase with perhaps a bit of baby's breath on her night table.

Humming to herself, Tomoyo made her way down the hall feeling happier than she had for a long time. Life was looking up, and not only that, but… Tomoyo paused a moment to run a hand through her tangle free hair. She smiled as the long strands slipped easily through her fingers. Then she continued on her search for a vase and some baby's breath, eager to finish the task quickly and go to bed. Yet one more thing she had not felt for awhile.

But then again, Tomoyo figured that this was because tonight's dreams were going to be filled with a dark-haired boy, with eyes that sparkled when he laughed and a smile that seemed to add a tiny piece to her battered heart every time she saw it.

Thinking back on his note, Tomoyo felt her heart flutter a little. It had only been a few lines, but to Tomoyo, it was all she had really needed.

Back in her room, the small slip of paper lay face up, softly illuminated by the moonlight pouring in from the windows.

' Dear Tomoyo-chan,

"A heart, like a tree, might lose a limb or two, but with a little sunshine and a little love, it can grow new branches that reach toward the sky"

Your willing gardener,

Eriol Hiiragizawa


End file.
